Ephesians 5:23 says: ‘The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.‘
Lawrence O. Richards argues that headship in the NT has nothing to do with authority: ‘Authority, with its right to control and demand obedience, is not suggested. The fact that the living head of the church, Jesus, is a person with supreme authority is presented to comfort and assure it of His ability to meet its needs…As head He is the source and origin of our life. As head He is the one who sustains the whole body and supplies all we need for growth. As head He is the one who has committed Himself to serve us and is able to bring saving transformation to our personalities. He stoops to lift us up.’ (Richards & Hoeldtke, A Theology of Church Leadership).
D.A. Carson (Exegetical Fallacies, p55), identifies this as a notable example of unwarranted semantic disjunction (according to which Jesus is either authoritative and has the right to demand obedience or he stoops to lift us up). But, in fact, both are true. Jesus both humbled himself, providing the perfect example of selfless service, and has the right to demand obedience. All authority belongs to him (Mt 28:18). Even our friendship with him is predicated on our obedience to him (Jn 15:14).
Beware the disjunctive fallacy!