Epitaphs

Just for a smile, here are some of my favourite epitaphs and tombstone inscriptions:-
“I told you so.” (A hypochondriac)
“By and by God caught his eye.” (A waiter)
“Rest in peace – until we meet again.” (Put on a man’s tombstone by his widow)
An old lady went to a tombstone-cutter’s office to order a stone for her husband’s grave. After explaining that all she wanted was a small one with no frills, she told him to put the words, “To My Husband”, in a suitable place. When the stone was delivered she saw, to her horror, this inscription: “To my husband – in a suitable place.”
Stranger! Approach this spot with gravity! John Brown is filling his last cavity. (Epitaph of a dentist)
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
Here lies Lester Moore; Four slugs from a .44; No Les, no Moore.
Solomon Peas. Peas is not here, only the Pod. Peas shelled out and went home to God.”
Underneath this pile of stones
Lies all that’s left of Sally Jones.
Her name was Briggs, it was not Jones,
But Jones was used to rhyme with stones.