22:6 Train a child in the way that he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.

This well-known proverb has been understood in a variety of ways.

In popular Christian thinking, it is thought to constitute an unconditional promise to parents.  It is taken as a guarantee of the success of early training of children.  But not a few parents find that, despite their best efforts at bringing up their child ‘in the way he should go’, when he is old he does turn from it.  Feelings of guilt ensue (‘we failed in training our child’).  But this approach represents a misunderstanding of how proverbs work.  A proverb communicates general, not absolute, truth.

Wilson:

‘A proverb describes what is typically true, not what is universally true. Not all children of godly parents do follow God, and it is simply not in our power to make someone else trust in God—that is God’s work.’

If it is a statement of a general rule, rather than an unconditional promise, then this proverb should be understood as an encouragement to set children off in the right direction, rather than as a promise that if parents do so, success is assured.

Various nuances have been proposed.

(a) Some think that it constitutes a warning to parents.  Noting the absence of an equivalent for the ‘should’, the sense would be: ‘Train up a child in his own way (i.e. in the way he wants to go), and when he is old he will not depart from it.’  This is the view of Dan Phillips, in his book God’s Wisdom in Proverbs.  See this, by Peter Krol.  This strikes me as a possible, but not probably, interpretation.

(b) Others think that the proverb is not about moral direction, but about nurturing gifts and talents.  This strikes me as being somewhat alien to the thought-world of the Book of Proverbs, which is very much about moral behaviour.

(c) Still others think that this about suitable child-rearing methods.  There are ways of teaching and training a child that are suitable to a child’s level of development, and it is these that should be employed.  Garrett, accordingly, renders the sense as: ‘Train a child in a manner befitting a child…’.  ‘In other words,’ (adds Garrett), ‘one should train a child using vocabulary, concepts, and illustrations a child can understand. ‘

A variation on the above is to suppose that the training should be geared to the particular child’s needs and idiosyncracies.

Kidner:

‘The training prescribed is lit. ‘according to his (the child’s) way’, implying, it seems, respect for his individuality and vocation.’

In the end, it is probably against the spirit of this (or any) proverb to try to pin down the application too tightly.  It is enough to say:

‘The point is that proper training early on will have lasting results’ (Huwiler & Murphy).

Or, as Matthew Henry put it:

‘Many indeed have departed from the good way in which they were trained up; Solomon himself did so. But early training may be a means of their recovering themselves, as it is supposed Solomon did. At least the parents will have the comfort of having done their duty and used the means.’